Myriad First Time(s)
by KyouTenTai
Summary: [KyouTen] Your presence has changed my life entirely. Everything happens for the first time ever. This love is not alright, and yet... You still hold me close, whispering to me, "I love you." [Lame title, I know]


**Tenma's POV**

Ichinose is dating Aki-nee, Shindou is, somehow, getting closer to Akane, Midori is hanging around Nishiki-senpai a lot lately, and Endou kantoku, of course, went to a honeymoon with his beloved wife, Natsumi.

That's just normal. Everybody kind of met their love, and I'm no exception—but me—I'm a lot different from them. My love is Tsurugi Kyousuke, a **male **ace striker from Raimon who is well known for his coldness and how he excels in scoring goals.

Unlike Ichinose, who is in love with Aki-nee and often shows her off in front of people, and Shindou, who went for a casual date with Akane at an expensive restaurant while holding hands, I and Tsurugi have to make sure our relationship remains a secret.

We can't go all lovey-dovey, snuggling to each other and hold hands in public. Yeah, we can, but I'm not willing to take risks of being hated, loathed and left in vain with a shower of mockery. This love, which blooms in my heart – which seeks refuge to live with Tsurugi Kyousuke eternally, is clearly opposed by the laws of any kind of aspect.

…I sighed at the thought of it. I stared in Tsurugi's eyes, which I could tell you, were teary at the moment, but the emotionless expression on his face made me think if I was just imagining it.

"Is… Is it alright to do this?" I asked. I held back the tears that threatened to fall – I didn't plan to hurt Tsurugi's feelings, but I was certain he could judge what I feel now, just by hearing my shaky voice.

He caressed me gently before tightening his embrace. He looked me straight in the eyes. It was the moment when I was confident that he was aware of my tears. "It's alright." He whispered me a promise which sounded rather like a lie softly. "We'll be okay."

A sigh escaped my lips once again. I leaned in closer to him, hoping that everything will be fine exactly like what he had told me. We've been expressing our loves to each other through body contact on that night, and that's the problem. It's wrong and he knows it right, but still, he told me it's alright.

I kept quiet nonetheless. I didn't dare to speak.

The next day, by the time I woke up, the space beside me is already empty. I presumed Tsurugi had left last night, or early in the morning when everyone was still sleeping. Like usual, I'd take a refreshing bath and head to the kitchen.

The first thing I'd seen was Aki-nee's angry face. It was the first time she went berserk. "Tenma, what were you doing with Tsurugi last night?"

I was stunned. I really didn't know how she found out. I tried to hide it, but I didn't think I succeeded. "He helped me out with my homework—"

"Lies!" She snapped.

I took a few steps backwards, trying to retreat. I didn't want to get into any trouble, but I was caught in a heated up argument with Aki-nee. She threatened to tell about this to my mother, which eventually made me lost my words.

I didn't know what to say.

I went away just like that. I put my shoes on and strolled around the town. I was completely aimless with my mind going astray to the thoughts of the mistakes I've done.

That was when I ran into Tsurugi. He seemed happy to see me, but he couldn't kiss me like he always did when we meet in private.

**Note: The author is getting lazier and lazier…**

I hanged around with him at a nearby football field. I wasn't really in the mood to play soccer on that day so all that we did was sit down and do nothing. Tsurugi noticed how I was strangely quiet. Usually I'd fuss around about soccer and stuffs. I wasn't so like me.

I was munching on Mars Bars, which usually would cheer me up when I'm down. Oddly enough, it didn't. It was a first.

Things were so fishy on that day.

I offered Tsurugi some, but he rejected it kindly.

"I don't take sweets that much," was what he said. "You know me."

I tried to liven things up by starting a conversation. "You should. Sweets make you feel happy."

For the first time, Tsurugi leaned in to me when we weren't in a room. I jolted him away, which he found a little bit harsh. He was upset by my reaction, but he understood our condition.

"The only sweet thing I've ever eaten is you, Tenma." He told me nonchalantly and stood up straight. He pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

He pulled out an affectionate kiss. I tried to push him away, but he was hugging me too tight that I cannot move or breathe.

His fingers meandered in my hair gently and he said. "Let the world know…"

I began to feel sad out of sudden.

"…that I love you, Tenma."

Once again, tears streamed down my cheek. I hugged him back and, also for the first time ever, I felt confident even though our love is wrong.

Yes. Let the whole world know that he loves me and I love him.

"I love you too, Tsurugi Kyousuke…"

I clenched his shirt and wept all I wanted. He shed my tears and spoke softly. "Don't cry anymore, Tenma. If you're hurt, then I'm hurt as well."

For the first time again, I saw Tsurugi's tears. He didn't cry as bad as I did, and still… He carved a faint smile which made me wept harder.

Those teardrops…

…told me everything.

If I'm sad, he's sad too. If I'm happy, he'd be happy for me.

If we die, we die together.

I finally can smile at the thought of it. And, another for the first time ever, he held my hands in public.

I love you, Tsurugi Kyousuke.

* * *

**I'm so hungry.**

**I want to do AlphaxEinamu.**

**/weeps like Tenma/**


End file.
